Fatherhood.

 

When you sign up for fatherhood, I'm sure it comes with certain expectations. 

As a mother, I assumed I would be baking cookies, teaching my children to read, snuggling in front of a movie, and kissing wounded knees.  Never having been a father, I'm not quite certain what the expectations going into it are but I figure throwing a football, watching a son play sports, and bonding over similar masculine interests top the list.

Zak's version of fatherhood looks very different.  He may never experience any of the typical father/son moments.  Instead of cheering a son as he runs the bases during a game, he lays on him to calm him down and ignores stares as he deals with a meltdown at the pool.   He loves a son unconditionally who may never move out of our home, let alone play on a team.

I have talked to many mothers who feel frustrated because their husbands will not accept a diagnosis.  It's difficult for them to admit that their son might be different.  Worse, some refuse to allow their child therapy, all because of pride.  But Zak takes it in stride.  We work together through the difficult moments and applaud the triumphs.   I have even heard him repeat my sentiments about autism-it is a blessing in many ways. 

A couple of months ago, I listened to Zak on the phone with his cousin who was dating a mother of a child with autism.  He asked Zak if he would go into this willingly, knowing what he knows now.  This life of meltdowns and unpredictability.   Without hesitation, my good and wonderful husband said, "I wouldn't change a thing."

My children are so very lucky.  And so am I.

Happy Father's Day, Binx.

A momentous occasion

Zak and I have been working very hard for several years to get ourselves where we want to be financially.  Secure, debt free, on track for retirement---we've basically been following the steps set out by Dave Ramsey.  The end of last year we became debt free, which was a huge accomplishment and since then we've been working on our 6 month emergency fund.  I can't begin to tell you what a relief it is to have money set aside in case of (heaven forbid) another layoff.

Despite several car repair setbacks (to the tune of $2000) and medical expenses, it only took us about 6 months to save the money.  Today we finished up our emergency fund and transferred it all into one account.   High fives all around.

Next on our goal sheet is a new car for Zak.  And when I say NEW, I mean new to us.  Currently Zak is driving a sweet '92 Accord that has seen better days.  Hey, it's better than the $900 Accord he was driving in Utah (though it had rad flip up headlights).  All about perspective.   The goal for that was originally mid-September, but since we finished 2 weeks early, it may be sooner.

This is the kind of thing we get excited about around our house.

Oh, and the fact that we are saving for Disney AGAIN.  Two trips in one year.  Crazy.  Will we be able to collect enough trash to pay for the WHOLE trip?!?!  Zak (always the skeptical one) says no, but I say yes!    The suspense....

Little Dancer

Storey has been begging to take dance lessons for at least a year.  Finally, in January we were able to find her a school without a recital on a Sunday with open spaces.  She was in heaven.  In fact, watching her in class was hilarious because she was SO serious.  The other girls would mess around and not pay attention, but Storey was fully engaged all the time.  If the teacher was working with another student, she was standing in first position, politely waiting for her turn.

Why is this something I could not translate into using at home?

Her much anticipated recital was last weekend. On a stage AND people watching her AND ballet AND wearing off limits makeup (lipstick) rolled into one event?!?!? Dreams do come true.
I'm sure that every mother feels this way, but she was the cutest one up there.  It's adorable that she does some of her ballet moves (no idea the technical terms) backwards.

Quips

The kids getting ready to go on the paddleboats- April 27th at the Bridgeland Nature Fest.

Storey was spending time over at my mom's house and had a little bathroom accident.
Grandma: I don't have any extra underwear for you to change into, Storey.
Storey:  That's okay, Grandma.  I'll just borrow your REALLY BIG underwear.

Went to Muffins and Moms at Storey's preschool. Each kid had filled out a survey about his/her mom. 
One of the questions: What does your mom do for fun?
Storey's answer: She likes to clean the bathroom and the kitchen floors.
No wonder I have so many social engagements.
After they read her answers out loud, Storey turned to me and said, "I know one more thing you like to do mom. Sit and stare at the wall." 

Nailed it.

Jakson busted his face a few weeks ago trying to fly and I got a phone call from a couple of days later from school letting me know that he claimed he "broke his foot" playing soccer.   When his therapist pointed out that he was walking (nay, running) on it still, he told her that he was walking fine when he broke his thumb too, but that didn't mean it wasn't broken.

Touche'

It was the rock.

Zak and I have been working on Dave Ramsey's Baby Step Three (create a 3-6 month emergency fund in liquid assets) for a couple of months now and each time we almost reach our goal, something seems to go wrong that sets us back another month.  In April it was a car repair to the tune of $800.  Already May has required new tires ($500) so I was hoping that Murphy and his Law would leave us alone for awhile .  But to our dismay, last week we started hearing a clunking sound in the car every time we made a sharp turn.

We feared the worst, especially after Zak Googled "weird clunking noise." Google always seems to give the worst case scenario.   After deciding to take it to the shop, Zak tinkered around underneath for awhile trying to figure out how to explain the sound to the mechanic and checking to see if he could spot something amiss.  He kept throwing out possibilities, all of them sounding expensive.

After fixing another minor issue, he decided to drive the car around the block to listen to the clunking and maybe isolate the broken area.  As he was pulling out of the garage, Storey was standing in the doorway and suddenly started yelling something about a potato stuck in the car.  She was pointing to the front grill and shouting that she wanted to get the potato out.  Zak parked and we went to investigate.   A very large rock that had somehow lodged itself in a small space between the engine and the bumper.  And it looked very much like a big baked potato.  I sat in the driver's seat while Zak rolled the rock back and forth a few times and we quickly realized that the potato rock was the culprit.  Thankfully a very cheap fix.  Storey to the rescue.

We thanked her several times for being so observant, but since praise is her currency, she constantly reminded us all evening about the rock and how she saved the day so we could tell her over and over how amazing she was.   She even got an extra sticker on her goal chart (10 stickers = $1 to spend at the dollar store.  Children are so easily pleased).  And now we can go back to our goal of the emergency fund without another interruption.

That clunking sound is me, knocking on wood.

Why I will never buy a Health Rider.

I once worked with a client that would exercise on a Health Rider in the nude.  I use the term "exercise" very loosely here.  Mostly the Health Rider served as a glorified chair.  Either way, it was disturbing.  Some afternoons I would open her apartment door to find her in the living room, relaxing on the Health Rider, completely nekkid, shouting at Wheel of Fortune.  Other days, she would be getting in her 30 minutes of cardio (buck) while singing "Genie in a Bottle" at the top of her lungs.   Images forever seared in my memory.   During the day, she dragged that Health Rider around to various rooms.  Sometimes I'd find her on it in her bedroom.  Once in the kitchen (that night I could not bring myself to sit at the table and eat my dinner).   You just never knew when you were going to turn the corner and get an eyeful.   I'd always encourage her to add clothes to the equation, but my suggestions were mostly ignored. 

Every once in awhile, I come across a Health Rider in a Goodwill.  I make a wide berth around it.  Who knows what people have been doing on that thing.

The Best Trip Ever: Part Four

The guys started out our third day with a little game called "Count the Women Wearing Workout Clothes to Disney."  For some reason they found it fascinating that so many vacationers chose to wear Spandex to the parks.  Fortunately (unfortunately?) they got to about 50 in the first couple of hours and decided it was too much effort.   Their point was made: a large percentage of people prefer to look like they just came from the gym.  Though the irony of the clothing choices and the fact that most of them were eating large pretzels filled with cream cheese or turkey legs the size of a small country was not lost on me. 

While they spent their time counting, I was doing something exponentially more productive---figuring out how Storey was going to see the princesses without a complete meltdown from her big brother.  Once again this year I turned to Guest Services for a solution.  I explained our situation and  asked if there was a place inside the park that we could just "run into" one of the princesses in a more informal setting.  Because Disney is incredible, they went one step beyond my request, had us escorted out to the princess meet and greet, stopped the entire line, and had Storey walk through, meeting several princesses along the way.  So fantastic.  If only every company had customer service like Disney.

It's not hard to guess which princess is Storey's favorite.  So much pink everywhere!!!

The cast member that helped us out with the princesses also asked Jakson what he liked best at Disneyland.  He told her the Buzz Lightyear ride.  So she gave us a pass to go to the front of the line.  She also gave us some tips to get higher scores on Buzz and on Toy Story Mania.  So, of course, we rode those two rides next.  And bragged to each other about our shooting skills.

These guys are very serious about winning.

Speaking of favorites, at breakfast we had gone around the table and each picked two rides that we wanted to go on for our final day.  It's a time honored Disney tradition to do this the last day of the trip.  Then we filled in the gaps with rides we hadn't been on yet (there were very few) like the Jungle Cruise.

Kiefer: Space Mountain, Tower of Terror
Megan: Splash Mountain, Toy Story Mania
Zak: Radiator Springs
Storey: Pirates of the Caribbean, Ariel
Beth: Toy Story Mania, Buzz Lightyear
Jakson: Toy Story Mania, Buzz Lightyear

Storey agreed to ride Splash Mountain again as long as she didn't ride in the front.  No one else from our group wanted to suffer Storey's earlier fate either, but some random lady decided to take one for the team.  She got soaked.

 
We rounded out the afternoon with a couple of character meet and greets.  Jakson suddenly decided that since it was the last day, he wanted to meet some of them.  We just never know what to expect.

Sadly, in the late afternoon, Megan and Kiefer had to leave us to drive back to Vegas for work the next day.  Bust.  But we didn't shed any tears because we knew that two days later, we would be seeing them again in Phoenix!